I'd Spend The End With You
by lielabell
Summary: "The Puckasaurus doesn't do shmoop," Puck says with a scowl, his arms crossed menacingly over his chest.


"The Puckasaurus doesn't do shmoop," Puck says with a scowl, his arms crossed menacingly over his chest.

Mr. Shue is not impressed. "I've watched you serenade three different girls, so that statement doesn't hold water." He crosses his own arms over his chest and does a scowl of his own. "So don't think for a minute you can wriggle out of this assignment."

Puck smirks. "That had nothing to do with shoomp and everything to do with -"

"I know _exactly_ what it had to do with, thanks," Mr. Shue interrupts. "But that doesn't change the fact that you have engaged in what can only been deemed as 'shmoopie' behavior in the past. Now shut up and sit down."

Puck gives him stink eye, but does as he was told.

"Now that that is out of the way," Mr. Shue says, "we can get back to the task at hand. Like I was saying, I want each of you to find the shoompiest song you can think of and sing it to someone unexpected." A wave of protests rises at this, but he fends it off with an unamused expression. "No arguments, kids. You have fallen into some predictable patterns and it's making you lose your edge." He points at Tina, "You and Quinn are paired up. Rachel, you are singing to Brittany. Brittany, Rachel."

"Rachel what?" Brittany whispers.

Mr Shue ignores her. "Artie and Lauren, Mercedes and Mike, Puck and Sam, Finn and Santana." Again a loud round of protests. Again he lets it roll off his shoulders. "That's final." Shue gives them all a hard stare, then leaves the room, dark mutterings following in his wake.

* * *

"This is balls," Puck says while he paces back and forth in the locker room.

Sam lifts a shoulder as he finishes drying his hair with a hand towel. "Could be worse."

Puck glares at him. "Yeah? How?"

"It could be a kids song or something crunchy granola." Sam tosses the hand towel onto the bench and opens his locker. "And you could have to sing it to Sue."

Puck makes a disgusted noise, but doesn't disagree. Sam gives him an I-was-so-right smile then pulls his boxers out of the locker. He shimmies into them before tugging the towel wrapped around his hips free. Then he slips into his jeans and gives Puck an exaggerated leer while he zips them up.

"Enjoying the view?"

"You know it." Puck matches leer for leer.

Sam laughs as he takes out his shirt. "I don't see why you are pouting about having to sing me something shmoopie. You've been trying to get in my pants since I joined Glee. Just go with it, man. Who knows, you might get lucky." He winks as he takes out his shirt.

"Whatever, loser," Puck shots back, but there's no sting behind the words.

* * *

"What are you going to sing?" Quinn asks as when Sam sits down at lunch.

He shrugs. "No idea."

Quinn wrinkles her nose. "Me either. I mean, I like Tina and all, but..." she trails off, her eyes staring off over his shoulder.

Sam glances over it too and sees Finn standing in the doorway, a slightly stupid look on his face. "Wave him over," he says. "And maybe just pretend that you are singing to him? It might help."

"Is that what you are going to do?" Quinn asks as she waves to Finn.

"What? Pretend to sing to Finn?" Sam laughs. "No. He's not my type."

Quinn makes a face at him. "You know what I meant."

"And I know what you said."

"Hi," Finn says as he joins them, that same stupid look on his face: half worried, half hopeful. He points at the empty seat next to Quinn. "Mind if I join you?"

For a moment Sam is tempted to do his best Forest Gump-esque "seat's taken" but instead he just smiles. "Fine by me."

Finn settles himself and Quinn blushes and Sam decides that he's really, really happy that Shue didn't pair the two of them up for the shoomp fest. Yeah, he's over being dumped, but still. There's only so much a guy can take with a smile.

"So," Finn says around bites of turkey sandwich, "you guys figure out what you are going to sing yet?"

Quinn shakes her head and Sam does the same. Finn grins. "I'm going to do 'Lady' by Styx. No one does shoomp better than early seventies rock bands."

Quinn nods thoughtfully and Sam, well Sam has pretty much the best idea ever.

* * *

Sam sits through the promised "Lady" and Artie's surprising soulful version of Shaggy's "Angel." He manages not to laugh at Rachel's choice of "I Honestly Love You" and actually enjoys Quinn's take on "Cheek to Cheek." Brittany completely surprises everyone by singing "You Are My Sunshine" and Sam can't stop smiling while Mike creaks and croaks his way through "Your Song."

Then Mr. Shue points at him and Sam's throat goes dry. For a moment he is paralyzed with fear.

"Your turn, Sam," Mr. Shue says when Sam fails to react to the finger point.

Sam just sits there until Puck kicks his chair and gives him a don't-punk-out-on-me look. And just like that Sam's confidence is back and better than ever. He stands and walks over to where he left his guitar. When he has it slung over his shoulder and is facing the group again, he gives Puck a wink.

"This one's for you, big boy," he says before launching into "If" by Bread. He finishes to a round of applause and wolf-whistles, but none of that compares to the stunned-yet-smitten look on Puck's face.

* * *

"I'm really going to have to thank Finn," Sam says between kisses, his Puck-dazzled brain not getting that mentioning another guy's name while making out with a different guy might not be so good an idea. But it totally gets it a second later when those hot, eager kisses stop and Puck's hand lets go of his ass.

Sam nips his neck in apology, but Puck's having none of it.

"Dude," he says with an edge to his voice.

Sam sighs. "I just meant that he gave me the idea for the song, is all. Look, I'm under the bleachers with _you_, not him. So don't freak out on me."

Puck makes a mollified sound, but still has the world's surliest look on his face. Sam searches his brain for the best way to get back to the happy sexy times. Then he smiles.

"Wanna see how many balls can fit in my mouth?" he asks as he rocks his hips against Puck's.

Puck lets out a the sexiest moan in the history of ever and Sam, well, he takes that as a yes.


End file.
